As coaches and leaders, we talk about clarifying our goals and identifying what it is we really want most, but what do we pursue in ministry? Do we pursue God, to know and glorify him in the obedience that produces fruit, or do we find that we have shifted our aim to something subtly different: perhaps to seeing fruit, or to obeying and doing right? The latter are not evil, except for having supplanted the former. We cannot control the fruitfulness which is produced by the Vine, and we cannot obey with sufficient righteousness to find satisfaction and peace.
What does God want for us and from us? Is it not to know him and his love through Christ, as we love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength? If we had that, would it be enough? Do our choices and emotions reflect this single-minded pursuit of him alone? Or, do we fall into that subtle double-mindedness that wants him, but also wants (and maybe wants with a bit more urgency) the fruit that comes from knowing him and loving him, and the reward he provides for diligently seeking him. If Jesus had sought first the rewards and fruits that God gives in this life, would he have been deterred from going to the cross and the greater reward set before him in the Father’s pleasure and glory? Would it not make sense for God to withhold certain ministry fruit if that was competition for the undivided affection of our hearts?
How can we identify this subtle idol in our lives and ministry, and see God himself as our great treasure? God help us enjoy the fruits and rewards of seeking him without letting them become the things we pursue.